Love

There are so many kinds of love and so many ways that I see love in each and everyday. Love is there with my girls and love is there with my husband. Love also hangs around the phone for my parents and my brother and for my niece's and Missy. Love is in the air when a show or movie depicts a child in pain or dying or when a soldier is hurt or KIA.

It's so funny how one can think they only have enough love in their heart for their spouse; and then, once a child is born there is an abundance of love that fills your world. And again you think, 'there's no way I could ever love another child as much as I love this one..' But then it happens, another child arrives and again loves just overflows from your heart. It's absolutely amazing.

My husband and my girls are the most important things in the world to me. I literally feel like I spend everyday doing whatever possible to make them happy just so I can feel their love and see them smile.

Randy and I have been married for over 5 years now. 5 years! WOW! That's along time and I am still just as much in love with him today as I was that first July we spent together in Waikiki. When we met it was like an instant connection. I was alone and scared in a new place surrounded by new people and there he was, in just the same situation. I still remember when I first got my barracks room and needed to go buy some bedding. I left class that day and told him where I was going and he was so interested in going with me. Such a goofy thing to recall but the fact was he just wanted to spend time with me, and that was awesome. That was love

Kaitlyn came into the world in 2006 and that's when the love in my heart doubled in size. She was so beautiful and so perfect. I could have never guessed how much I would adore her and how awesome she would be. Who would have known that a 3 year old would be so caring and so smart. She absolutely amazes me every day.

Then a second beautiful little girl, Kaylee, came to join us in 2008. I definitely had doubt that I could love her as much as Kaitlyn, but the second she joined us that day in August, all my doubts flew away. Kaylee is so happy. She is always smiling and laughing and just seems to love life. She took on all the same beauty and charm as her sister with her own uniqueness.

Isn't love amazing? Love can carry a soldier through a deployment, a child through a class with her mommy, and a wife through a year of uncertainty, loneliness and fear.

Love is amazing, awesome and will always conquer all!

How does one get ready?

Is there really anyway to prepare yourself or your children emotionally for the deployment of your husband, their father?

I believe that my daughter is very advanced for her age. Kaitlyn is 3 and knows just as much as normal 5 year olds, yet she understands complex life ideas. She knows about death, about birth, how time works and distance. Kaitlyn understands this happens because you do this. But how much does she really understand when I tell her that her daddy is going to be far away in Afghanistan and not with us? Does she really get it that she won't get to hold her daddy's hand for a year? or get a pony ride from him or have her own human punching bag, or someone to say "ok, you can watch one more show" or "ok just a few more pieces of candy" after mommy says no more.

And then there's Kaylee. She's not even a year old yet. Is she going to remember her daddy? Will she be scared of him? In time will she even notice that he was gone?

Ok, now what about me? Is he still going to be in love me? Will he realize what he's been missing? Will he be more in love with me than ever or be more distant that ever?

All of these things run through my mind on a daily basis. But who wouldn't this effect? This is a huge life event.

I know that I will do everything in my power to ensure my girls remember their daddy. We will draw pictures and write letters. When Kaitlyn goes to Karate and gymnastics classes I will video it for him to watch and I will show them pictures of him and talk about him everday. And thank god for Skype! Hopefully we will be able to talk to him everyday.

I know that we are not the only one's that are effected by this. I know he thinks about it too. But shit, is he not hard headed! I know he has worries and fears and all kinds of emotions running through him, but does he talk about any of it? Not to me. I just hope that before it's too late he will spend more precious moments with these two beautiful girls. I hope he realizes that I'm here for him, I love him and want things to get back to perfect with us. Well, as perfect as a marriage can be anyways. I want him to know that he can trust me and confide in me all the things that he once thought he couldn't.

And most of all I want him to understand that it's okay to be scared, we all are. But scared or not, we will get through this. We have no doubt gotten through worse things and we are still intact. Remember that God will never throw more at you than you can handle. We've proven that and will continue to do so. Our family will persevere. Love conquers all.

So, is there any way to get ready for all of this???